It’s a thought that every prospective trainer has had in their life. However, Pokémon isn’t just about battling and going on epic journeys at 10 years old. There are a ton of real life uses that all Pokémon could have! So let’s take a look at some of the most interesting options out there. I have to note one thing: there are no legendary or mythical Pokémon included in this list. Obviously, having a Pokémon that can grant any wish or is literally God is infinitely useful and would be on this list. The Pokémon on this list are more specific and far more interesting to me. Let’s jump in!
20. Darumaka
Darumaka is a cute Fire-type that evolves into the powerhouse Darmanitan. But this little guy doesn’t make it on here for power. According to one of its Pokedex entries: That’s right. This Pocket Monster has warm pocket poops. I assume these work like those hand warmer bags for when you’re camping in the snow. Is this the most useful thing ever? Not at all. Is it delightfully strange? Abso-freaking-lutely. And it’s a perfectly weird way to start out this list.
19. Jigglypuff
Sometimes, I have insomnia. I have tried taking melatonin, listening to ocean sounds, and restricting my screen time late at night each to mixed results. Is there a Pokémon that could easily help with that? Of course there is! While there are many Pokémon that can learn the move Sing, the most famous user is obviously Jigglypuff. They’re adorable, pink, and infamous for putting anyone who listens to their song right to sleep. Sure, I’d have to wake up with ink on my face. But it’d be worth it! Plus I’m sure Jigglypuff would make a comfy pillow. Assuming they’d allow you to, of course.
18. Diggersby
As humans, we’re constantly building and expanding. And while there are a ton of Fighting-types that most would assume would be helpful with construction, I think that Diggersby would be the best Pokémon on the site. Not only can it dig through bedrock and lift boulders with its ears, but Diggersby just has a way better personality. While the Machop line will be flexing and showing off, Diggersby just wants to hang out. It’ll move that steel beam, let out a belch, and then just chill with the guys. And it’s that kind of blue collar attitude that makes Diggersby stand out for me.
17. Sylveon
Sometimes a person with a disabling mental illness will have an emotional support animal prescribed by their doctor to ease their anxiety or find a purpose in life. And in Pokémon, there would be no better ESA than Sylveon. As the newest of the Eeveelutions, Sylveon is an adorable Fairy-type with an incredible ability. It uses its ribbon-like feelers to feel how they’re trainer is doing emotionally. It can then send out a calming aura in order to calm them. This is truly perfect for anyone who needs a supportive companion.
16. Blastoise
There are a ton of Water Pokémon that would be useful in a fire situation, since they can all shoot water out of their mouths. But I think the best for this would have to be Blastoise. It probably has the most powerful water cannons in the Pokémon universe, because it’s literally the only Pokémon that has water cannons attached to it. These things are so powerful that they can cut through steel beams. This means Blastoise could easily hit flaming buildings from a good distance away. Really, any Water-type would be good at this. But if you want the best, you gotta go with the original Water starter.
15. Conkeldurr
Conkeldurr is one of the strongest Pokémon in the entire game, with an Attack stat of 140. Just like any Fighting-type Pokémon, it would be immensely useful using centrifugal force to move around heavy objects. But we already had a construction-themed Pokemon with Diggersby. What does Conkeldurr do differently? Conkeldurr created concrete. Not can create, actually created. Arguably the most important part of constructing a city was taught to humans by Conkeldurr. And even if humans imitated Conkeldur perfectly, they could never make it as well. So thank you, you weird clown bodybuilder, for giving us the sidewalks we use everyday.
14. Lapras
Honestly, this is probably the most obvious choice on this list. One of the most exciting things you could do in real life is getting to sail the seas on a Pokémon. And Lapras is just flat out the best Pokémon to do that with. It’s the right size, the right disposition, and it is just freaking adorable! Even the games knew this with Lapras being the surfing sprite in Pokémon Gold/Silver/Crystal. Lapras is easily the best Pokémon to explore the sea on. It’s true in-game, it’s true in the anime, and it would be true in real life, too.
13. Ampharos
If you’re going to go out to sea, you need to be able to come home. Sometimes the weather doesn’t let you do that. There are many stories over time of sailors getting lost at sea and dying out there. That’s why we need Ampharos. The first time you meet Ampharos in game is as a sick Pokémon at the top of a lighthouse. That’s because Ampharos is the light; that guiding light that brings all sailors home to Olivine. But that’s not all! Long ago, people also used Ampharos’ light as a way to send messages, like with Morse Code. Ampharos is an invaluable Pokémon that should be welcome in any port or harbor.
12. Bibarel
Bibarel is known as a hard worker and can build dams in rivers that make sure a river would never overflow, saving nearby towns from flooding. While this is immensely useful, I have Bibarel on here for a completely different reason. Bibarel can learn the most HM moves across all of the games. I’m sure this utility would carry into the real world as well! It can ferry you across water, move boulders, and even cut through trees if needed. Bibarel is an industrious Pokémon that can do just about everything. So if you have a job that needs to be done well, you might as well catch a Bibarel!
11. Flygon
There are a ton of Pokémon used for flying. And while we’ve mostly seen the use of Charizard and Pidgeot, there’s one other Pokémon that I’d like to ride even more: Flygon. For me, Flygon is the coolest Dragon-type of all time. It just looks like it was built for speed! Plus with its long neck and round head, it kind of looks like a chopper motorcycle. What I’m trying to say is that Flygon is the Harley Davidson of Pokémon. I can just imagine riding Flygon through the desert like Paul Newman in Easy Rider, wings humming along while Born to be Wild plays on the radio. I’d even get a leather jacket with “Desert Spirit” printed on the back. That’s the dream.
10. Stoutland
One of my favorite things to see in old cartoons from the 50’s is that St. Bernard with the barrel on its collar that saves skiers in an avalanche. Fortunately, Pokémon has one of those that does the job even better. Stoutland doesn’t just save people from avalanches. According to various Pokedex entries, it also rescues people lost in blizzards, the mountains, or at sea. Basically, Stoutland is all of Paw Patrol wrapped up in a single Pokémon. Is that not enough for you? Then look at that moustache! Tell me you wouldn’t want one of these!
9. Swablu
I’m a bit of a slob. And by a bit, I mean a huge slob. I know how to clean, I just hate to do it! If only I could get something to clean my house for me for free! Enter Swablu. According to its Pokedex entry, it believes everything has to be clean. It can even use its wings to dust and polish everything around it. And while this may not be the most necessary assistance that humans need, I can’t get over how convenient that would be. All you’d need to give it is some affection and bird seed. Also, if it’s comfortable with you it’ll sit on your head like a hat. That’s freaking adorable.
8. Altaria
One of my favorite parts of Sword and Shield was getting to use the Corviknight Taxi to get around. It was useful and served as a great way to build the world. However, if I’m looking for comfortable travel, I’m looking at Altaria. Altaria is literally a bird made of clouds. It looks so fluffy that I want to sleep on it. And with its soothing singing voice, I probably could! That’s right, this Dragon is essentially a Corviknight combined with Jigglypuff. Imagine killing two birds with stone like that. As long as one of those birds isn’t Altaria. Or Swablu. Or Corviknight. Let’s just not kill any birds, ok?
7. Alolan Muk
Humans have a massive issue with waste. Even as we speak, there’s a massive island of garbage floating out in the Pacific Ocean larger than some countries. What if there was a way to completely get rid of that? Well if Pokémon were real, there would be! And its name is Alolan Muk. Simply put, Alolan Muk eats trash. If we got enough of them, we could easily get rid of our waste problem. Plus the Alolan form doesn’t smell nearly as bad as its Kantonian counterpart. Essentially, all you have to worry about is touching this Pokémon directly. After all, it is literally a sentient puddle of acid.
6. Audino
Throughout the show and the games, we have seen many Pokémon helping out in Pokémon Centers and the like. However, I believe one stands out amongst the rest: Audino. Yes, Chansey and Blissey are the most recognizable. But they’ll pretty much just feed you an egg and hope it helps. Audino has incredibly sensitive ears that can listen to your heartbeat and tell how you are doing physically and emotionally. Combine this with its Healing Pulse move and you easily have the most useful Pokémon for any medical situation.
5. Rotom
Now more than ever, humans are dependent on technology. We always have our phones on us and we use it for practically everything. Smartphones are pretty much essential now. So what if every device can become a “smart” device? Well, they all can with Rotom. Rotom can literally take control of any electronic device: Computers. Phones. Washing machines. Lawn Mowers. All of these and more can suddenly become a smart device that can communicate with any other electronics near you. This automatically makes Rotom the most consistently useful Pokémon in the entire Pokedex, which is yet another device that Rotom can control.
4. Tropius
All across the world, there are starving people. There have been massive efforts in order to get people the food they need. But none of that would be necessary if we had some Tropius. Because of its love for fruit, Tropius continuously grows fruit on its neck. That means if we sent every starving village a few of these Pokémon, they could easily solve their food problem. Not only all of that, but Tropius is often used as a source for shade with children hanging out all around it. And it can fly! Even though it’s useless competitively, Tropius would be incredibly useful in real life.
3. Absol
A longtime ago, Absol was considered an unlucky Pokémon because whenever it visited a village, an earthquake or tidal wave would soon follow. Because of this, people assumed it was a doom bringer and it became a target. But really it was just warning people of what was about to happen. Absol can literally sense when a natural disaster is going to happen. This knowledge could be immensely useful for helping protect people everywhere. Living in California, I’m always scared of when “the big one” will finally happen and destroy everything. With Absol, we could finally know and save thousands of lives. While there are no legendary Pokémon on this list, Absol has an ability that could easily be considered legendary.
2. Carkol
Originally I came across Carkol because I was looking at its evolution, Coalossal. I thought that it looked like a furnace, so it’d probably be used as such. But then I read Carkol’s Pokedex entry: Charcoal constantly forms coal. That means we have access to infinite fuel. Trains, stoves, water heaters, power plants… all of these and more are powered by coal today. And with Carkol, we can have as much as we want! I know that coal has massive negative effects on the environment. However, I think we can solve this problem with yet another Pokémon.
1. Galarian Weezing
One of the biggest issues in the world right now is air pollution. All of the emissions put out by people and corporations is damaging our ozone and could eventually lead to the end of life as we know it, which is why I think Galarian Weezing would be the most important Pokémon in real life. Galarian Weezing eats polluted air, much like how Alolan Muk eats trash. However, Galarian Weezing doesn’t just consume the air pollutants. It then excretes clean air. Essentially, Galarian Weezing is the ultimate air filter. This would work great synergistically with Carkol. Carkol will create the infinite coal to power everything and Galarian Weezing will filter the air pollution that comes from it. It’s a perfect cycle that could ensure both infinite energy and a longer life for everyone on Earth.
