We’ve done the best Stands, the best characters, and the best parts… but that’s too much good stuff. Let’s flip it around and play devil’s advocate here. Below we’ll tear into some of the worst or most inconvenient Stands in JoJo.
10. Khnum
Khnum is the Stand of Oingo in Stardust Crusaders, and has dreadful statistics – an ‘A’ in persistence, and ‘E’ in everything else. He can change his appearance, height, weight, scent, and voice, but not clothing or personality. Despite being featured in some of the funniest episodes of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, its full potential is never fulfilled. Because Oingo is a bit of an idiot and thought it would be a good idea to use Khnum against a group of people, as opposed to a single person. So Khnum being effective relies utmost on knowing the person Oingo intends to replicate (and that doesn’t go too well in Stardust Crusaders).
9. Love Deluxe
Love Deluxe is the Stand of Yukako Yamagishi in Diamond is Unbreakable, and is bound entirely to her hair. With a range of approximately 10-metres, Yukako can manipulate, grow, shoot, or deflect with her hair, making it an offensive and defensive stand with a huge number of flaws. It can be seen by non-Stand users, burned or set on fire, and turns white when she’s afflicted by damage. That said, it can be detrimental in a close-quarters scenario. But isn’t particularly effective against most Stand users.
8. Tenore Sax
Tenore Sax is the Stand of Kenny G. in Stardust Crusaders. I bet you forgot it existed, because I definitely did. Kenny G. lasts a few panels in the manga, and a few minutes in the anime. For all we know, it could have amazing potential – but obviously not good enough due to how quickly it was dispatched. It can distort the internals of a building into a labyrinth, and Kenny G. uses it on DIO’s mansion to keep him even safer with illusions. Unfortunately, it’s more of defensive stand with some offensive capacity. But it cannot manipulate scents, and therefore is ineffective against those with stronger noses.
7. Achtung Baby
Achtung Baby is the Stand of Shizuka Joestar in Diamond is Unbreakable, the little baby found and adopted by Joseph Joestar midway through the part. She can turn invisible, and that’s about all we know about Achtung Baby. There’s a chance it evolves into something even better later on, as it has an ‘A’ in Developmental Potential, and she’s very young. Its biggest plus is the ability to make things around her invisible, too. While it’s tied to her emotional state, that could be because she’s a baby – honestly, Achtung Baby has a lot of potential just not at this state.
6. Bastet
Bastet is the Stand of Mariah in Stardust Crusaders. It looks like a moving power outlet and only has one ability that – while inconvenient – isn’t massively effective, and is dispatched relatively quickly. That said, its appearance is hilarious. When you touch Bastet, you become a strong magnet that gradually increases in force. This means that at the beginning forks and spoons will fly at you. But eventually even a car will be drawn to you. It can be uses against more than one person, which is amazing. But unfortunately Bastet can be used against Mariah. And that’s how they end up finishing her off.
5. Hermit Purple
Hermit Purple is the Stand of Joseph Joestar, but is also seen used by DIO (with Jonathan Joestar’s body). Considering it’s the Stand of the two previous Joestar’s, it’s ridiculously weak. Alongside acting like ropes to swing from, Hermit Purple can mainly act like a divination technique to track or follow a target through technology and object exchange. Joseph can also use his Hermit Purple as a way to transmit his Ripple Hamon like a conductive cord. It’s got some versatility, but compared to Stands shown even in Stardust Crusaders, it’s incredibly underpowered (especially in terms of offensive or defensive abilities).
4. Tower of Gray
Tower of Gray is the Stand of Gray Fly in Stardust Crusaders, and is the first Stand our Stardust Crusader’s encounter en route to DIO. It’s pretty rubbish; I’m not going to lie. Araki still hadn’t worked out the complexities of Stand combat displayed in later parts, so we’re left with a fly that can move extremely fast and possesses an unhinging jaw a’la Xenomorphs by which to attack. The design is fairly cool, given it’s essentially a more imaginative and larger fly. And it can apparently move faster than even Star Platinum. However, it’s short lived, ridiculously underwhelming, and a bad indication of the creativity that Stands possess later down the line.
3. Highway to Hell
Highway to Hell is the Stand of Thunder McQueen in Stone Ocean, and would be the most useless Stand in the whole series were it not for some others we’ll get to shortly. This is because Highway to Hell requires the user to kill them to be critically effective, making it a kamikaze attack. Technically, it acts as a damage sharing apparatus, meaning and pain afflicted to Thunder will be reflected back upon the target. This, paired with Thunder’s life-ending predisposition, makes it a one-hit KO that the user can’t come back from. That said, you could still render yourself unconscious and make the other person also unconscious. So if you’re in a group it could be helpful.
2. Cheap Trick
Cheap Trick is a Stand in Diamond is Unbreakable, and is peculiar in that we don’t know its original user (only a few who obtain it, including Rohan Kishibe). It latches onto a person’s back and acts like a curse. You do not want Cheap Trick; you want to get rid of it. It’s very talkative, and aims to psychologically destroy whoever it has attached to. Then it aims to catch another person’s attention so they might look at the back of its host. They then kill the host and take over the new person. It’s a killer nuisance with very little positives to it!
1. Holy’s Stand
Holy’s Stand doesn’t technically have a name, and was one of the first Stands ever introduced before the mechanics had been refined and pinned down. It acts as a vitality sink due to her weakened mental state, and threatens to end her life. This is what causes the Stardust Crusaders to travel to fight DIO in the first place, as his resurrection is what awoke her Stand. It resembled Hermit Purple somewhat, with motifs of flora and roses growing out of her back. But is somehow even more useless. This Stand literally kills its user and can’t touch or be touched by other Stands, making it ineffective in combat, too.
